Here are some jokes from the book 101 School Cafeteria Jokes. Please, add more jokes to the comments. Have fun!
Mary: What's sticky, purple, has 16 legs, and is covered with thick, brown hair?
Larry: I don't know. What?
Mary: I don't know, either. But they're serving it today in the cafeteria.
Sam: Every day I get the same boring thing for lunch! I'm sick of peanut butter sandwich and an apple, day after day.
Pam: Well, why don't you ask your mom to give you something else?
Sam: I can't. I pack my own lunch!
Morty: This beef stew tastes just like dog food!
Cook: Don't be ridiculous! How can cat food taste like dog food?
Sharon: Why do you eat everything with your knife?
Mort: My fork leaks!
Mort: Last week they served a special chicken in the school cafeteria, and everyone was tickled.
Mary: Why's that?
Mort: They forgot to remove the feathers!
Fred: Hey, there's a long, black hair in my macaroni!
Cook: It can't be mine. I put my hair in the vegetable soup today!
Mary: Look, there are forks, knives, spoons, and hammers today. What are the hammers for?
Larry: I guess they're serving pound cake!
Pam: Is it okay to eat hot dogs with hands?
Sam: No. Hot dogs don't have hands!
First Lunchroom Worker: I told you to put salt in the salt shakers. What's taking you so long?
Second Worker: It's hard to get the salt through the little holes!
Other blogs about School cafeteria jokes, 101 School Cafeteria Jokes, Jokes, Miss Twinkle, comments
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Hilarious Jokes for Kids
They're all here. So, watch out for your funny bone as you get ready for a load of laughs...
Please feel free to give more joke suggestions, add them on to a comment. Thank you!
Bob was running through the neighbor´s garden.
"Hey!"shouted the neighbor. "I told you to not let me catch you there again!"
"Right!" said the boy. "And you haven´t caught me yet!"
Freddie walked into the house crying. "What´s wrong?" asked his grandmother.
"I just lost a quarter!"
"There, there," said his grandmother. "Here´s another."
As soon as the woman gave Feddie a new quarter, he began crying even louder.
"Now what's wrong?" his grandmother asked.
"I wish I said a lost a dollar!"
Mrs. Kaplan said, "Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I buy myself a new hat."
"Ah," said Mrs. Wengler. " So thats where you get them!"
When he heard his friend calling from the bottom of a well, Joe ran over.
" Hey--how'd you get down there?" asked Joe
" Dummy!" the friend said. " I took a little a little trip!"
While walking home from school, Bennie said to his friend Keith, "Did you know that a crescent moon is heavier than a full moon?"
" That's silly," Keith said. "The moon weighs the same all the time."
" Dummy!" Bennie said. "My teacher said the full moon is always lighter."
As they were walking down the street, a dummy said to his friend, " Boy, I sure hope the rain keeps up."
"Why?" said his friend.
" Because then it won't come down."
Q: Why did the dummy stand in front of the mirror with her eyes shut?
A: So she could see what she looked like when she was asleep.
Every day, dumb Mr. Koch had to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work.
Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door, and ran to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on th deck.
"Made it!" he cried triumphantly.
"So?" said one of the passengers, "What was the rush? This boat is coming in."
Mr. Griswald was starring at the cage in the zoo, watching the great cat pace back and forth.
"I wonder what that tiger would be saying if he could talk," he said to the zookeeper.
The zookeeper replied, " It would probably say, 'Hey, dummy, I'm s cheetah!"
Carl said Dumb Don. "When I was lost in the woods, I had to live on a can of peas for a whole week."
"That's amazing!" said Dumb Don. "Weren't you afraid you'd fall off?"
Mrs. Dimm said to her friend Mrs. Dumm, "My husband doesn't understand me at all. Does yours?"
"Why, Mrs. Dimm," said Mrs. Dumm, " I don't believe he has ever met you."
"Hey Louie," said Marcel, "does your watch tell time?"
" No," said Louie. "You have to look at it."
" Well, what time is it?" Marcel asked Louie.
" Four o'clock."
" Isn't that amazing," said Marcel. " I've been asking the same question all day, and everyone
tells me something different!"
" Did you hear about the dummy who punched his clock?" Waldo asked his friend.
" No. Why?"
Waldo said, "The clock truck too!"
" How did the clock feel when he was punched?" the friend asked.
" What do you think?" asked Waldo. "Ticked off!"
Mrs. Dumdum walked into the bakery.
"Are these cookies tasty?" she asked.
"Oh, yes," said the baker. " They've been our most popular item for years."
" I see," said Mrs. Dumdum. "But I was hoping ot get something baked more recently than that."
Q: Why did the dummy eat a dollar?
A: Because when his mother gave it to him, she told him it was for lunch.
Q: Why did the dummy eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light meal.
Q: Why did the dummy put candy on her pillow?
A: So she would have sweet dreams.
" Can you stand on your head?" lionel asked Dumb Dora.
" Don't be silly," Dora replied. " How could I get my feet all the way up there?"
Kooky Carol walked into the post office and said to the clerk, " If I put a stamp on this letter, will it go to my cousin in New York?"
" Yes, it will."
"That's too bad," Carol said. " I've addressed it it to my friend in Boston."
Q: What kind of clothing does a house where?
A: Address
"Gee, Mom," said Abner as they walked through the woods, "what are these holes in the trees?
" They're knotholes."
" What do you mean they're not holes?" he asked. "I can see inside them!"
Other blogs about: Jokes, Hilarious Jokes for Kids, Jokes for Kids, Miss Twinkle
Please feel free to give more joke suggestions, add them on to a comment. Thank you!
Bob was running through the neighbor´s garden.
"Hey!"shouted the neighbor. "I told you to not let me catch you there again!"
"Right!" said the boy. "And you haven´t caught me yet!"
Freddie walked into the house crying. "What´s wrong?" asked his grandmother.
"I just lost a quarter!"
"There, there," said his grandmother. "Here´s another."
As soon as the woman gave Feddie a new quarter, he began crying even louder.
"Now what's wrong?" his grandmother asked.
"I wish I said a lost a dollar!"
Mrs. Kaplan said, "Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I buy myself a new hat."
"Ah," said Mrs. Wengler. " So thats where you get them!"
When he heard his friend calling from the bottom of a well, Joe ran over.
" Hey--how'd you get down there?" asked Joe
" Dummy!" the friend said. " I took a little a little trip!"
While walking home from school, Bennie said to his friend Keith, "Did you know that a crescent moon is heavier than a full moon?"
" That's silly," Keith said. "The moon weighs the same all the time."
" Dummy!" Bennie said. "My teacher said the full moon is always lighter."
As they were walking down the street, a dummy said to his friend, " Boy, I sure hope the rain keeps up."
"Why?" said his friend.
" Because then it won't come down."
Q: Why did the dummy stand in front of the mirror with her eyes shut?
A: So she could see what she looked like when she was asleep.
Every day, dumb Mr. Koch had to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work.
Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door, and ran to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on th deck.
"Made it!" he cried triumphantly.
"So?" said one of the passengers, "What was the rush? This boat is coming in."
Mr. Griswald was starring at the cage in the zoo, watching the great cat pace back and forth.
"I wonder what that tiger would be saying if he could talk," he said to the zookeeper.
The zookeeper replied, " It would probably say, 'Hey, dummy, I'm s cheetah!"
Carl said Dumb Don. "When I was lost in the woods, I had to live on a can of peas for a whole week."
"That's amazing!" said Dumb Don. "Weren't you afraid you'd fall off?"
Mrs. Dimm said to her friend Mrs. Dumm, "My husband doesn't understand me at all. Does yours?"
"Why, Mrs. Dimm," said Mrs. Dumm, " I don't believe he has ever met you."
"Hey Louie," said Marcel, "does your watch tell time?"
" No," said Louie. "You have to look at it."
" Well, what time is it?" Marcel asked Louie.
" Four o'clock."
" Isn't that amazing," said Marcel. " I've been asking the same question all day, and everyone
tells me something different!"
" Did you hear about the dummy who punched his clock?" Waldo asked his friend.
" No. Why?"
Waldo said, "The clock truck too!"
" How did the clock feel when he was punched?" the friend asked.
" What do you think?" asked Waldo. "Ticked off!"
Mrs. Dumdum walked into the bakery.
"Are these cookies tasty?" she asked.
"Oh, yes," said the baker. " They've been our most popular item for years."
" I see," said Mrs. Dumdum. "But I was hoping ot get something baked more recently than that."
Q: Why did the dummy eat a dollar?
A: Because when his mother gave it to him, she told him it was for lunch.
Q: Why did the dummy eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light meal.
Q: Why did the dummy put candy on her pillow?
A: So she would have sweet dreams.
" Can you stand on your head?" lionel asked Dumb Dora.
" Don't be silly," Dora replied. " How could I get my feet all the way up there?"
Kooky Carol walked into the post office and said to the clerk, " If I put a stamp on this letter, will it go to my cousin in New York?"
" Yes, it will."
"That's too bad," Carol said. " I've addressed it it to my friend in Boston."
Q: What kind of clothing does a house where?
A: Address
"Gee, Mom," said Abner as they walked through the woods, "what are these holes in the trees?
" They're knotholes."
" What do you mean they're not holes?" he asked. "I can see inside them!"
Other blogs about: Jokes, Hilarious Jokes for Kids, Jokes for Kids, Miss Twinkle
Cool Jokes
Here are a few jokes from the book 1001 Cool Jokes. Feel free to add more jokes to the comments.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What's big, white, furry, and found in outback Australia?
A very lost polar bear.
What did one flea sayto the other?
Shall we walk or take the dog?
What's the best way to catch a rabbit?
Hide in the bushes and make a noise like lettuce.
What do you call a lady standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
What do you call a man with a spade?
Doug!
What do you call a man who likes to work out?
Jim!
Back to School Jokes
Here are some school jokes. If you have any more suggestions, please feel free to add them on the comments. We could add them to Miss Twinkle magazine or Miss Twinkle website.
Thank You!
Henry: Oh please, please Mr. Windwrap! I can´t go back to my classroom. I think I´m a needle.
Doc: Hmm... I see your point.
Laura: Mr. Warthog, would you get mad at me for something that I didn´t do?
Mr.Warthog: Of course not, Laura.
Laura: Good. Because I didn´t do my homework!
Teacher: Where is your pencil, Ludlow?
Ludlow: I ain´t got none!
Teacher: Ludlow! Where is your grammar.
Ludlow: She´s at her house in Cleveland. And she ain´t got my pencil niether!
Other blogs about Jokes, back to school jokes, back to school, Miss Twinkle
Thank You!
Henry: Oh please, please Mr. Windwrap! I can´t go back to my classroom. I think I´m a needle.
Doc: Hmm... I see your point.
Laura: Mr. Warthog, would you get mad at me for something that I didn´t do?
Mr.Warthog: Of course not, Laura.
Laura: Good. Because I didn´t do my homework!
Teacher: Where is your pencil, Ludlow?
Ludlow: I ain´t got none!
Teacher: Ludlow! Where is your grammar.
Ludlow: She´s at her house in Cleveland. And she ain´t got my pencil niether!
Other blogs about Jokes, back to school jokes, back to school, Miss Twinkle
Telephone Jokes
Here are some jokes from the book, 101 Telephone Jokes. If you have any jokes you want to share, please do on a comment and we might put it here on the Miss Twinkle website or in the magazine. Thank you.
Estelle: Hell0?
Shirley: Hello! Boy, have I got some really juicy gossip for you Laverne.
Estelle: I'm sorry, this isn't Laverne. You must have the wrong number. But anyway, what's the gossip?
Bob's phone rang in the middle of the night.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello,"said a voice. "Is this Tommy?"
"No," said Bob. "You must have the wrong number."
"Oh, sorry," said the caller. "I hope I didn't wake you."
"Oh, that's okay," said Bob. "I had to get up anyway, to answer the phone!"
Why did Silly Sally think she was engaged?
Because her boyfriend said he'd give her a ring tonight!
Bob: Hello? I'm not interrupting your dinner, am I?
Rob: Actually, you are.
Bob: Good. Wait for me, and I'll be right over!
What did the cannibal mother say to the cannibal child when he was talking on the phone at dinnertime?
"How many times have I told you not to talk with someone in your mouth?"
Monday, January 7, 2008
Jokes to make you laugh out Loud!
Here are some jokes to make you laugh out loud! If you have any other suggestions for this website or the magazine please write it down as a comment. Thank you!
1.Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police let us in; it's cold out here.
2.Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
I love.
I love who?
I don’t know, you tell me!
3.Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Normalee I don't go around knocking on doors, but do you want to buy a set of encyclopedias?
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Normalee I don't go around knocking on doors, but do you want to buy a set of encyclopedias?
4.Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo, who?
Don't cry, it is only me.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo, who?
Don't cry, it is only me.
5.Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Who's there?
Madam!
Madam who?
Madam foot is caught in the door!
Madam who?
Madam foot is caught in the door!
6.Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Doris.
Doris Who?
Doris locked, that's why I am knocking!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
