Hilarious Jokes for Kids

They're all here. So, watch out for your funny bone as you get ready for a load of laughs...
Please feel free to give more joke suggestions, add them on to a comment. Thank you!

Bob was running through the neighbor´s garden.
"Hey!"shouted the neighbor. "I told you to not let me catch you there again!"
"Right!" said the boy. "And you haven´t caught me yet!"



Freddie walked into the house crying. "What´s wrong?" asked his grandmother.
"I just lost a quarter!"
"There, there," said his grandmother. "Here´s another."
As soon as the woman gave Feddie a new quarter, he began crying even louder.
"Now what's wrong?" his grandmother asked.
"I wish I said a lost a dollar!"



Mrs. Kaplan said, "Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I buy myself a new hat."

"Ah," said Mrs. Wengler. " So thats where you get them!"



When he heard his friend calling from the bottom of a well, Joe ran over.

" Hey--how'd you get down there?" asked Joe

" Dummy!" the friend said. " I took a little a little trip!"



While walking home from school, Bennie said to his friend Keith, "Did you know that a crescent moon is heavier than a full moon?"

" That's silly," Keith said. "The moon weighs the same all the time."

" Dummy!" Bennie said. "My teacher said the full moon is always lighter."



As they were walking down the street, a dummy said to his friend, " Boy, I sure hope the rain keeps up."

"Why?" said his friend.

" Because then it won't come down."



Q: Why did the dummy stand in front of the mirror with her eyes shut?

A: So she could see what she looked like when she was asleep.

Every day, dumb Mr. Koch had to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work.
Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door, and ran to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on th deck.
"Made it!" he cried triumphantly.
"So?" said one of the passengers, "What was the rush? This boat is coming in."

Mr. Griswald was starring at the cage in the zoo, watching the great cat pace back and forth.
"I wonder what that tiger would be saying if he could talk," he said to the zookeeper.
The zookeeper replied, " It would probably say, 'Hey, dummy, I'm s cheetah!"

Carl said Dumb Don. "When I was lost in the woods, I had to live on a can of peas for a whole week."
"That's amazing!" said Dumb Don. "Weren't you afraid you'd fall off?"

Mrs. Dimm said to her friend Mrs. Dumm, "My husband doesn't understand me at all. Does yours?"
"Why, Mrs. Dimm," said Mrs. Dumm, " I don't believe he has ever met you."

"Hey Louie," said Marcel, "does your watch tell time?"
" No," said Louie. "You have to look at it."
" Well, what time is it?" Marcel asked Louie.
" Four o'clock."
" Isn't that amazing," said Marcel. " I've been asking the same question all day, and everyone
tells me something different!"

" Did you hear about the dummy who punched his clock?" Waldo asked his friend.
" No. Why?"
Waldo said, "The clock truck too!"
" How did the clock feel when he was punched?" the friend asked.
" What do you think?" asked Waldo. "Ticked off!"

Mrs. Dumdum walked into the bakery.
"Are these cookies tasty?" she asked.
"Oh, yes," said the baker. " They've been our most popular item for years."
" I see," said Mrs. Dumdum. "But I was hoping ot get something baked more recently than that."

Q: Why did the dummy eat a dollar?
A: Because when his mother gave it to him, she told him it was for lunch.

Q: Why did the dummy eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light meal.

Q: Why did the dummy put candy on her pillow?
A: So she would have sweet dreams.

" Can you stand on your head?" lionel asked Dumb Dora.
" Don't be silly," Dora replied. " How could I get my feet all the way up there?"

Kooky Carol walked into the post office and said to the clerk, " If I put a stamp on this letter, will it go to my cousin in New York?"
" Yes, it will."
"That's too bad," Carol said. " I've addressed it it to my friend in Boston."

Q: What kind of clothing does a house where?
A: Address

"Gee, Mom," said Abner as they walked through the woods, "what are these holes in the trees?
" They're knotholes."
" What do you mean they're not holes?" he asked. "I can see inside them!"






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